Let them know they are the center of your attention and that you love them unconditionally. They need to be secure in your love, attention, and guidance to come into themselves fully and confidently.
Momma, your laundry will wait. Your dishes will wait. The vacuuming, the dusting, the millions of little things moms do every day won’t matter in ten years if they get done now, next week, or even next month. But, what will matter is the time you spend with your children. Even as teens.
Yesterday was a beautiful day on the lake. So my 14-year-old and I went for a walk around it. While on this walk I pulled up some great questions from https://club31women.com/21-questions-son-really-needs-ask/ . I really liked her questions and didn’t ask all of them, but definitely honed in on the ones I knew would start a great conversation between my son and me. Did it matter that I had plenty of work to do on my blog? Or that laundry was needing my attention? Or even that I have my office that needs desperate organization? No. None of that mattered because reconnecting with my son after the craze of the school year was presenting an opportunity I could not afford to miss.
Let me tell you a bit about my youngest…
My youngest child is not one who shares. He lets things go, he’s pretty laid back, and doesn’t really know what he wants to do with his future. He does know he wants to help people, but that’s the extent of it. He’s got some confidence issues, and some body issues, and if I let him he’d stay up in his messy room all day playing video games. But he’s also the kiddo who does enjoy being around people he cares for. This doesn’t mean there is conversation involved, but he’ll stick around.
He’d been anxious to get out of the house, so, with barely any arm twisting at all we went to walk around the lake on a beautiful 80 degree breezy day. And I asked him some of the questions on the list (linked above). He most admires his father’s ability to tell a story. He doesn’t know what he wants to do when he grows up, he doesn’t really know if there is a worst or best day of his life.
But he asked me what mine were. And that opened up a brilliant opportunity to share my experiences with him that maybe will help him in his own life one day. We actually engaged in conversation about those things and how he thinks he’d handle those same experiences.
The best thing about being part of our family is the tacos, and that we get together all the time. 😉 My parents come over once a week for dinner and games. My mom’s family gets together about once a month, or for most major holidays. And we all get along for the most part. It wasn’t until college that I truly understood how rare this was for American families.
If I could make him any meal it would be my special burgers (You can find that recipe here). Which I could have guessed. And what makes all of this so important to raising children is that he isn’t going to remember that I was always behind on the laundry. He doesn’t care if the house is Pinterest worthy, nor does he mind if there are dishes in the sink or not. He cares about how invested in him I am.
Will I remember the conversation a week from now, let alone 5 years from now? No. Will he? Certainly not. But we both will remember the TIME we invested in our relationship and that we felt cherished in sharing that time. That makes all the difference.
- Stepmomster Life
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- How to Use Explanation to Create Relationships With Your Kids
- How To Give Your Children Control
- Respect Your Kids